At *almost* 30 years of age, I am realizing how some friendships are not constant (although a few of them are, and that’s amazing!), but mostly, our circle consists of the phase of life we find ourselves in. In my case, I am at a point in my life where mom friends are important and so are my mom squads.
This beautiful phase of life called “Motherhood” brings in newfound standards for friendship. In my personal experience, Motherhood has been the biggest shift where my circle changed drastically.
Mom friends are low maintenance. They understand you, relate to you, and more than likely, don’t judge you (because they are–ahem–in the same boat).
Some key factors that change our friends and circles are: institutions, location, hobbies, mutual interests, and most importantly, the phase of life we find ourselves in.
Even if you already have your squad, what if your phases of life don’t align? You need to meet some mom friends, too. Just think about it, have you ever had a conversation with any friend (who is not a mom) that goes something like this?
Friend: “Hey friend! The girls and I are going to a movie premiere tonight at 8 pm and then drinks right after. Wanna go?”
You (A New Mom): “Are you crazy? I’ve been up since 4 am. Remember? I just had a baby.”
Friend: “Oh . . . Right.”
» » » » » » » RELATED READ: Is It Possible To Be a Good Friend and a Good Mom? « « « « « «
Why Mom Friends Are Important
This is where mom friends come in because we know your pain, girl. I too have been up since 4 am (can we cry together for a bit?). Plus, I know that you are scared to have a wardrobe malfunction with leaky postpartum breasts because I’ve been there. I also know that you’re asking yourself: “Who will even feed my baby?”, “I can’t even drink, I’m breastfeeding”, “No makeup can fix these undereye bags, I can’t go out looking like this”, “I don’t even want to watch a movie right now, I just want peace and quiet” and you’re even thinking “Nah, it’s too long and I’ll miss my baby.” Yes, girl, I’m no mind-reader but this mama knows your thoughts.
And maybe you’re wondering: Who even has time for “mom friends” when I am barely surviving here? But let me tell you: mom friends will help you survive.
Motherhood can be a challenging time and only us moms know how hard it can be. Although our spouses, family members, and friends can provide us with love and support, mom friends offer a different level of support that we need. Research has shown how friendships help moms to be emotionally healthy and more confident in this new identity shift. Mom friends can help you:
Embrace Your New Identity
Boost Your Overall Well-Being
Learn About Motherhood
Give You Empathy And Reassurance
» » » » » RELATED READ: Old Friends and Mom Jeans :: Why We Need Each Other « « « « «
How To Build Your Mom Squad(s)
Ok, I need mom friends! But where can I find them? I got you, mama. Here are my top 10 tips:
1. Join a Local Support Group
Local support groups don’t necessarily have to be tailored to moms, but you can find friends who are moms within those groups and settings. Some support group examples can be: mindfulness, marriages, mental health, breastfeeding, empowerment, infertility, and many others. You can find groups in El Paso by googling “El Paso support groups.” Psychology Today has a couple of them to join. Here are some support groups in El Paso catered to moms:
The Breastfeeding Garden: Breastfeeding Support on Fridays 9 am – 12 pm at Luna Tierra Birth Center.
Moms On Board (MOB): Resources and support for families in El Paso. They have a support group on Facebook where they arrange meet-ups too.
El Nido EP: A project from Luna Tierra Birth Center, provides a space for expectant mothers and parents to learn about different topics during and after pregnancy. Visit their Instagram for upcoming meet-ups.
Sweat Like A Mother (S.L.A.M): Fitness for moms. A comprehensive exercise program that is multilevel and hosts monthly playdates, 5K races, and Moms’ Night Out.
2. Visit Places Frequented by Moms
Where are the moms? Well, when we’re not busy at home, school, or work, you can find us with our kids in neighborhood playgrounds, local parks, pick-up/drop-off lines, libraries, the zoo, play centers, and other places our kids can enjoy. You can find lots of fun, local places and activities in these articles written by fellow El Paso Mom contributors:
Top Attractions to Visit with Kids in El Paso
Unique Things To Do in the El Paso Area
The Best Family Memberships & Season Passes in El Paso
3. Join a Mom Group at Church
Many churches here in El Paso have MOPS Groups (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) or support groups for moms where childcare is provided and you get to meet other moms. Personally, my MOPS group has been a blessing! If your local church does not host a MOPS Support Group, you can always speak to the Women Leadership team to see if there are other groups you can join, whether it be for moms, women in general, or even better, for families so the littles can join in.
4. Get to Know Your Children’s Friends and Their Moms
What better company for a play date? It’s amazing to know our children have friends they enjoy time with, and this makes for a perfect play date because you already know the kids will enjoy it. My tip? Birthday parties are perfect for this. Invite your children’s friends to their birthday parties and vice versa. Introduce yourself to their moms and stay in contact for future potential meet-ups.
5. Find a Facebook Group for Local Moms
There are so many Facebook groups out there. Why not join a local mom group where you can meet other moms? My favorite one is the El Paso Mom Community and Conversation Group hosted by our amazing El Paso Mom coordinators. These groups can arrange meet-ups, play dates, and why not a mommy’s day out/night out? It is a perfect way to find mom friends.
6. Connect During Your Children’s Extracurricular Activities
Are you a football mom, baseball mom, karate mom, ballet mom, or maybe a piano mom? There are so many extracurricular activities in our community for kids, and if they already are part of one, why not gain some friendships there? You can introduce yourself to the moms, and you can keep each other company during practices, rehearsals, concerts, and games. You can even do post-event dinners or maybe play dates!
7. Download Apps to Connect with Other Women and Moms
Have you heard the saying “there’s an app for that”? Well, because there is! I personally have yet to try this but have known of moms who have made friendships in online groups and forums. Some of these are:
8. Join Local Events/Groups
You can also join local events like Farmer’s Markets, Library Activities, Children’s Craft Fairs, and others where you can meet other moms and the kids can play. A plus is when events are tailored to moms and littles. The El Paso Mom Community Calendar is a perfect resource to find such events. You can also find other local events at meetup.com. Although not tailored to moms, you can always try to find a mom friend.
9. Take a Class You Know You’ll Enjoy
Another perfect way to connect with mom friends is through mutual interests. Do you like to cook or bake? Join a class to learn! Perhaps you’re kickstarting your fitness journey? Join a gym workout group or classes like Zumba, Yoga, or Pilates. There are so many classes you can take depending on your interest. Find the one you love, and you can always find a mom friend there! Or if you want to–for sure–find a mom friend, you can join a birth class, breastfeeding class, or parenting class! If you’re pregnant, this one is hosted by a fellow El Paso Mom Contributor, Cindy Mancha. Her Birth Boot Camp provides lots of tools and knowledge.
10. Put Yourself Out There
Even if you attend the events and support groups, at the end of the day, it is crucial that you put yourself out there if you want to find mom friends. Introduce yourself to other moms, get to know them, and learn to say “YES” to having a little time to leave the kids at home so you can join other moms or perhaps join a play date. Or who knows, maybe you can even start your own event/support group!
And remember, mama, you’re doing great!
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of El Paso Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
