As I was going through my pictures the other day, I noticed that my husband and I used to do a lot more together on our own and even did more outings with our son. However, now being post-pandemic and with three kids and not just one, it feels almost impossible. We are still adjusting to learning how to go to events, to the store, or anywhere with a toddler a young teen, and a baby at the same time.
Thinking of going on a date night or planning a weekend getaway has been at the very back of our minds. We do love and miss having time for ourselves, but realistically speaking, we always feel guilty that we could be spending that time with the kids and not just ourselves.
Improvisation comes in handy!
Because it is not our strength to have long periods of time without the kids, we do still practice and plan ways to have that intimacy and private time for us to connect. Even if it is only a few minutes, we make the best of it. It may not be perfect, but for us, it is. I see so many posts on social media about couples out and about together constantly, as well as articles about setting up trips or date nights . . . but that’s just not us. We are just not exactly into those ideas–we LOVE our time with our family and we LOVE the way that we put our time alone together.
» » » » » » » » » » RECOMMENDED RESOURCE: Guide to Date Night in El Paso « « « « « « « « « «
If family, jobs, pets, activities, and other duties keep you and your loved one occupied, here are some tips to keep that connection, love, and spark going strong.
Cuddle Time
Every day try to cuddle with your partner. It doesn’t matter if it is five mins or three hours. Just find that quick time to cuddle–to be next to each other.
Lunch Dates
Suppose you are like us who hardly go on date nights, then try lunch dates. Find random occasions to do lunch together. It can be at home, at the park, or at a favorite spot. They are quick, they are fun, and sometimes it’s the encouragement you need to keep going with the day.
Netflix and Chill
You have to do Netflix and chill! Don’t worry, you don’t have to do the Rated R version. But it’s always nice to know you have one show in common that you can sit down together to talk about.
Call & Text Fun
Don’t just do phone calls and texts to speak about the kids, or the job, or anything like that. Use those calls and texts to have fun as well. Send each other memes, or videos. Send flirty texts and even romantic ones. One emoji could make your partner’s day as easy as that.
Hobbies
Have a hobby in common. Have one activity in common that you both enjoy. Take advantage of that one activity you enjoy, and use it as a way to find that time together. It could be going on hikes, coloring, going to concerts, etc.
Be Spontaneous
Don’t be shy, and don’t hold back. Your partner loves you for who you are, so don’t limit yourself to showing that love. If a random meal or a movie comes to mind, then do it! Unplanned things tend to be amazing. If you are running errands together and decide to take a drive and listen to music, this right here could be the best connection ever.
We are not perfect, as a couple or as parents, but we try our best. For the past almost 13 years, my husband and I have been together and built wonderful memories and connected in many ways. But honestly, our best memories have come from texts, conversations, or drives.
» » » » » » RELATED READ: The 5 Love Languages: Understanding Your Partner « « « « « « «
Marriage is not easy, and children are not easy, but when you keep that connection and spark with your partner, everything seems a bit easier to tackle.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of El Paso Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
