My Toddler Taught Me to Love My Postpartum Body

Having two babies has been the most wonderful experience of my life. However, nothing could have prepared me for the aftermath of giving birth. Accepting my postpartum body was incredibly difficult for me this time around. I was convinced that I would “get over it” quickly since it was my second child. After coming home from the hospital, I kept looking at my reflection. It was hard to look at the mom in the mirror even though I had already done this once before.

This was my second baby, so why did it feel like this? Why did it feel so new again? I already knew what to expect, so why did I dislike my body so much?

I thought that, because this wasn’t my first rodeo, I’d be more accepting of the inevitable body changes. But there I was, three days postpartum, staring at every single stretch mark and the extra weight I had on my body.

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Motherhood had already changed me almost four years prior, so why did I feel like crying? I was overcome by different emotions, and before I knew it, tears were rolling down my face. I stood there in front of the mirror, feeling sad. This continued to happen for a few days. At one point, I tried my best to avoid looking in the mirror at all. Whenever I looked at my body, I was flooded with negative and depressing thoughts. Like how there was “no way” my husband could possibly be attracted to me.

I was making myself feel bad daily with this mindset. Until one day when I was taught the most unexpected lesson by the most unexpected person.

On this particular day, I caught myself looking at my reflection again, but before I could judge my body or cry, my daughter Gracie sat down at my feet and started playing in front of the mirror. She blew a few kisses at her reflection and even kissed herself in the mirror. At that moment, everything kind of stood still.

I watched my toddler in amazement as she played. The way she sat down in front of the mirror and so effortlessly loved herself left me in awe. It was a moment of realization. I clearly needed to learn a thing or two from my little girl.

If I have shown my child to love herself, why can’t I follow that myself?

I sat there for a few moments and realized that I need to have appreciation and love for myself and my body as effortlessly as Gracie does. I carried both of my babies and pushed them out. My body went through so much and here I was unhappy with it. I was blessed with something so precious and didn’t even see it. It’s no wonder my body felt so different to me. It had yet again done one of the most difficult things it would ever do. I felt so silly as I wiped the tears from my face. The sadness quickly turned into disappointment for putting myself through this. Not only that, but I already know that I have a wonderful husband who throughout my entire pregnancy made it very known that he is always attracted to me.

I was torturing myself for no reason. I was my own worst enemy. Because my family loves me no matter how many stretch marks I have or how wide my hips are.

I need to be more like Gracie and love the skin I’m in. Because what my body did was hard, so of course it is going to look and feel different. I am different now. Motherhood has changed me in more ways than just physically. So now when I feel a negative thought coming as I stand in front of the mirror, I blow a kiss at my reflection. It puts a smile on my face because my favorite small person taught me such a big lesson–to appreciate my new body. After all, it is strong and beautiful, but most importantly because my body gave me my babies and it should be loved every day for that.