Growing up, I remember always sneaking into my aunt’s bedroom to look at her jewelry, dresses, high heels, and perfumes. My passion for fashion and dreams of working in an office setting started right in that room. However, my physical appearance was always a target that damaged my confidence in the area of self-love.
As a tall young Mexican girl with thick bones and a tummy, I was often pointed out and bullied as “the big girl,” “la gorda,” and “la rara.” Not only would my classmates judge me, but (I’m sure that many other Mexican moms will relate) even my own family would judge me. I was always “Anita la gordis” or any other name you could think of. It took me years to gain that self-love and confidence. It took a lot of work, and I am still working on gaining that internal vision of a pretty version of myself.
What is self-love?
Self-love for me is the act of loving who you are physically, emotionally, and mentally. It is about embracing your nerd side, or your silly side, loving your long legs or your glasses, your laugh, and your tears. It is finding small ways to be kind to yourself and to appreciate the beauty of life.
Nowadays, there are a lot more initiatives to love yourself and to promote that positivity among many women. Finding the opportunity to join that movement is key, especially as a girl mom.
Love yourself, so your daughters can do it, too.
After becoming a girl mom, I realized I really had to work on making sure I was loving myself. As a typical woman who suffers from imposter syndrome, loving myself can be a little challenging, not to mention that the childhood trauma of bullying adds to it. However, it was the new journey of being a girl mom that showed me the importance of having self-love and made me understand the many conversations that I would have with my mom as she would wipe my tears from those bitter times with other kids.
Being “a big girl,” “a nerd,” or a “crybaby” shouldn’t be a bad thing. Those things make you who you are. Having a chubby tummy or skinny legs or wearing glasses are the beautiful things that make you unique. I now more than ever am working on loving those things, on loving my scars, my hairy arms, and my skinny fingers. I tell my daughters every day they are beautiful, and I remind them how unique and special they are.
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Every morning while I get ready for work, my three-year-old now walks up to me and sees me applying makeup and selecting the jewelry for the day. Our little morning routine consists of applying makeup together, and on the weekends, spending some time trying new hairstyles and bows. Slowly but surely now my youngest sees us both and wants to put on a hair clip or sunglasses. Those moments are what make me know I am teaching them that self-love.
It can take time, but seeing that positivity in their hearts makes it all worth it.
Wear your confidence as high as a crown.
Show your daughters to have a big smile and kind heart. It is important that not only do we teach our daughters to be confident and love their body, mind, and soul but also to cheer on other girls and to continue that movement of supporting one another.
Wear that cute dress, those leggings, and lipstick. Love your body and your style, regardless of what it is. Our daughters look up to us, and it’s important to show them that yes they may be “Gordis” but they are CUTE and BEAUTIFUL no matter what.
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